How to be vulnerable ✨

What would happen if we lived our lives from a space of vulnerability? From a space of real, utter rawness without having to force ourselves to let go of the layers keeping us hidden from the world. What if being vulnerable wasn’t necessarily about divulging all of your deepest darkest secrets, but rather about being completely, fully, 100% authentically aligned with YOU and then bringing that version of you to the world.

This whole topic sparked while I was having a conversation with a coaching friend of mine. We talked about how being vulnerable is more of a mindset than an act. It’s simply a way of being.

So why do we, collectively as humans, find it so difficult to be vulnerable at times?

I think the answer is because being vulnerable isn’t about DOING something, it’s not so much about taking vulnerable actions, it’s about your come from. It’s about what the external actions are rooted in, from an internal perspective. 

We kept talking about vulnerability, both inside and outside the bedroom and realized, that it all comes down to being seen. And BOOM. That’s when it hit me. We typically think that being vulnerable requires the involvement of another human to be vulnerable with. When, in reality, the biggest component of vulnerability is being vulnerable with yourself first.

Think about it this way. If YOU can’t fully see yourself, if you aren’t in touch with your true self, how can someone else see the real you? It’s quite literally impossible for someone to truly see you for who you are, on the deepest, most intimate level, if you yourself haven’t stepped into the truest version of you. At that point, the other person is looking for something that isn’t yet there to be seen…. which doesn’t really work out. 

So there it is. If you stop focusing on the act of being vulnerable WITH other people and start focusing on finding vulnerability within yourself, then there’s no effort involved. It’s no longer about having to get yourself to take vulnerable actions to “prove” your realness. When you begin with YOU, with being in tune with yourself and confident with who you are as a living, breathing, person, then every single action you take will come from a place of vulnerability without even trying.

If you’re reading this thinking, ok Em, cool take on this… but now what? Start with this simple exercise: Go look in the mirror, and stare into your beautiful eyes. For real though, like truly look through your eyes, into your soul. Turn off any music or background noise and simply ask yourself, coming from a place of curiosity, “Do I like who I am?” In other words, do you feel at peace with yourself, who you are as a person, mind-body, soul, your way of being in the world.

If your answer is yes, awesome, you rock, keep embracing your authenticity and spreading your light. If your answer isn’t a full-out yes (aka most of us) that’s when you know it’s time to do some of the deep work. This doesn’t have to be scary or hard, Because you deserve to look into your eyes in the mirror and have trust, confidence, and ultimate faith in who you are as a person, mind, body, soul.